


The Worst Burgers In London

by Rainah (RainahFiclets)



Category: Sweeney Todd (2007), Sweeney Todd - Sondheim/Wheeler
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Alternate Universe - High School, Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-12
Updated: 2014-06-12
Packaged: 2018-02-04 08:47:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1772992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RainahFiclets/pseuds/Rainah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is crack. Crack with ink.</p><p>Nellie Lovett works at MacDonalds, and one night shift takes in a bedraggled stranger escaped from military school. For Todd has returned to see what's become of his girlfriend at the hands of the great Jock Tupin, and what's become of his kid sister Johanna.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Worst Burgers In London

**Author's Note:**

> What inspired me, watching this musical, to say "Let's set it in high school!"? I have no idea. But here's the crackiest thing I've written yet, in celebration of my brother's award-winning performance in Sweeney Todd.

It was late at night when Sweeney stumbled into town. His hair was full of brambles, sticking up in every direction, and half of one pant leg was torn. It didn't matter.

He was back.

 _Lucy first._ He thought. _Lucy and Johanna._ Then he would deal with revenge. But it was late, and he had few options. The only lights he saw in the middle of town came from a lonely McDonalds.

 _Better than freezing._ Sweeney shrugged and pushed the door open. _And there's food._

There was only a single employee, a woman with tattered hair and a smile worn like the creases in old leather. Her name tag read _Nellie Lovett_ _Lovett_ She'd been in his year at school, though they'd never spoken much.

"Hello-welcome-to-the-McCafe-how-can-I-help-you-we-have-a-special-on-today-" She said it all before even looking up at him. "Oh. I thought you were the manager. We're supposed to do that before people order - can I get you anything?"

"What are the pies like?" He wandered over to the display of muffins other baked goods, soaking up the warmth of the store. A little sign proclaimed they were a _New Item!_

"Terrible." She swung over the counter, sitting on it. "You don't want to eat them, trust me. No meat in 'em at all."

"What?" Sweeney was momentarily distracted from his dark musings. "There's no meat in your meat pies?"

"There's no meat in this whole building love, trust me on that. At least none you'll want to eat." When she called him _love_ he pulled his jacket tighter, trying to remain inconspicuous. She'd know him if she really looked, but why would she? They'd never really spoken. And military school had changed him - he was leaner now, hungrier, his hair shorn short. 

She popped a piece of bubblegum. "Now, you've got something on your mind I can tell. You tell Nellie, see what I can do. I've got an hour 'till closing anyways."

Dare he risk it? "I'm looking for a girl named Johanna. She goes to London High" Or she would, by now. His kid of a sister, grown up and setting out in a world filled with demons.

"Ahhh." Nellie nodded. "Would this be harvard-bound Johanna, piercings Johanna, Johanna who blew four guys-"

"None of them!" He slammed his hand on the table. 

She jumped, than hesitated. "You don't want the new freshman girl? The one with the criminal brother? Long blonde hair.... Johanna Barker."

"That one." 

"Poor thing." Nellie crooned, and began making up a plate of food. "Such a tragedy."

"What happened?" Sweeney asked, trying to keep his voice level. _She doesn't know who you are. And she won't, if you can stay under control._ Nothing mattered but getting to the truth of things.

"Her brother got himself expelled, something about drugs or some such." She shook her head. "Don't believe it myself. It was the great Jock Turpin who set him up. Wanted Barker's girl all to himself, poor naive dear. Got her too."

His blood was boiling. The room was red. 

Nellie continued on, "A fine set up it was, though he always wanted Lucy. Used to send his croonies around to bring her flowers and things. And just a week after Barker left-"

Barely keeping his composure, Sweeney forced out the most important question. "Where is she now?"

Lovett handed him a plate of what appeared to be the most nutritious food items on the menu: Some apple slices and black coffee. "Applied to a christian boarding school she did. Couldn't stay in-" She was cut off by his roar of rage, as Sweeney threw the tray across the room.

" _No!_ "

Instead of backing down Lovett stepped right in front of him, eyes blazing "So it is you! Benjemin Barker!"

"Not Barker." He looked away from the mess he had caused. Could he not control his own rage? "Todd now. Sweeney Todd." _Lucy. Oh Lucy._ Gone forever. What was the point of his suffering now?

Lucy was gone. There was nothing that could be done about that now, no way to save her. She was forever out of reach. But the man who hurt her - Jock Tupin would be very close indeed.

Plans for revenge swirled in Sweeney's mind. He cast an eye on Nellie. "You can't tell anyone." His plans would require secrecy, say nothing of what would happen when word came that he had escaped from military school. 

"Not a word." She promised solemnly, then hesitated. "You're not gonna..... _get_ them?"

"I'll get them." Sweeney's voice was dark. "I'll get them all. Jock Turpin and all his followers, the Beatle. Everyone who helped keep her from me!"

"Now now, calm." He didn't realise how close she was until she put her head on his shoulder. Sweeney jerked but didn't bother to pull away, too focused on his schemes. "You'll be Todd, just as you say, and they'll never figure it out. I've got some ideas of my own...."


End file.
